Why do Americans call the cops over everything?

Yesterday, I was on my way to the university library when I saw, from a distance, two officers in dark navy blue uniforms standing by the side of the road. Both were staring at the ground. Occasionally, they would lift their heads and look up at something deep inside the thick branches of a cedar tree. The female officer was pointing with her finger at something up above to the male officer, who had his legs spread wider than usual. A kind of posture that male officers intentionally do to show how badass they are. He shook his head. Then both of them went back to staring at the ground in front of their feet.

When I arrived, I said hello. "Excuse me," I said, "what have you found here?" The female officer, whose commanding tone made it clear she was a newbie, looked at me in a way that meant, "Mind your own business. Keep walking. Who are you to ask what we’re doing here?"

She didn’t know that I’m one of those stubborn types of people who aren’t easily scared off by a sideways (intense) glare - what we Hazaras call qabighda - just to go on my way. I did not move, did not want to leave without having a clue what the officers were doing there. I kept staring at them, waiting for an answer.

The female officer pointed with her finger toward the base of a tree and said, "Because of this poor little  creature." I saw a lifeless squirrel lying on the grass, its eyes still half open. The female officer continued: "One of the students called us that she found a dead squirrel."

"What are you going to do with it?, I asked. 

"If you’ll allow me, I know what to do," I said, thinking my suggestion would relieve the officers from suffering under a scorching sun. 

"What?" asked the male officer, with an impatient tone in his voice, who had not yet said a word. 

"I’ll toss the dead squirrel into the woods," - I pointed with my finger about five meters away - and continued, "so that maybe a coyote, a crow, or a hungry fox can snack on it and offer a prayer of thanks for us," I responded.

The officer gave me a sideways look, almost on the verge of laughing - whether out of surprise or mockery, I couldn’t tell - and said, "That’s a very good plan, but it’s cruel."

I went to the library. When I came back, almost two hours later, I still saw those officers standing there, over the dead squirrel. 

"Nothing happened? I asked.

"We called animal control so they can come and decide what to do," the female officer responded in a kind of weary tone.

By then, it was clear to me that these cops lacked the skills to deal with the dead body of a squirrel.

As I walked back home, I kept asking myself, why do Americans always call the cops over everything? Even over a dead squirrel on a sidewalk. What does law enforcement have to do with the dead squirrel? 

Then I thought, well, perhaps this is how a society in need of too much security looks. Or in the words of my friend Ron, a society wrapped in cotton wool. My mind didn't stop there. Then, I thought of massive spending on defense, the omnipresent nature of guns, and the integration of gun violence into everyday lives, and the state unleashing brute force on the streets and terrorizing people. Finally, I convinced myself to surmise that this is what a militaristic culture should look like.

going to an Eagles game

Yesterday, I went to the Philadelphia Eagles game. We tailgated outside the Redskins stadium at FedEx Field in Maryland. It was full of joy to cook and drink with my favorite people and meet some new ones. On my way home, I walked for nearly two hours to burn out some calories, but I got really tired when I got home. I slept like a log last night.

The Eagles battled hard to get into the play-off the victory of 24-0 over the Redskins. That means there is some hope for the reigning champions in the postseason.

I didn't know much about American football, so I started watching it in college. I gradually realized that it's like a religion to some Americans. Unlike soccer, American football is governed by a very complicated set of rules. It's also a dangerous sport; you can easily tear your ACL, break your neck or crack your skull. There are certain things about American culture you won't find else. In football, there is masculine pride, often with aggressiveness. You have to be tough and rough to beat the opponent team. If you look at the characters, they are huge, huge enough to block and resist like a bull. People in small stature have no place, almost, but there are some small agile players who run fast enough to outrun oversized players and accomplish touchdowns. Alcohol is an important element in the game. You have to drink enough to absurdly shout your lungs out for the team and talk loud to your neighbors. No one cares what you say or what others say to you. The language is familiar: You are stupidly drunk, happy, supportive of your team, wearing emblems and showing erratic behaviors, and balanced proportionally with the crowd. Nothing is out of the ordinary. Being as absurdly loud as possible is more likable and wanted than being quiet and ordinary. 

Ta’arof as a Denial in Iranian Social Life

Christopher de Bellaigue who is the author of the new book Patriot of Persia: Muhammad Mossadegh and a Tragic Anglo-American Coup has published an article on the Atlantic, explaining the complexity of ta’arof in Iran. Ta’arof is a borrowed word from Arabic which is simply used for introductions and meeting people.

In Farsi ta’arof is a form of polite behavior shown among Farsi speakers in Iran. It is a delightful and respectful interaction but at the same time it is a form denial and dishonesty. As Bellaigue explains ta’arof is

“symptomatic of a broader Iranian tendency to clothe every­thing in ambiguity—and to spend an inordinate amount of time doing so.”

Bellaigue, whose wife is Iranian, applied for Iranian citizenship eight years ago. Each time he went to the Department of Alien Affairs, he was welcomed warmly and offered tea and then asked to visit again. He says since ta’arof has an open ending, 8 years later, he is still waiting for his citizenship.

Ta’arof as much as it has a positive meaning in social interaction it has also some negative meanings. Basically, ta’arof can be used in a variety of ways, between a wife and a husband, father and son, brother with sisters and so on. It is so rooted in Iranian social life that it is hard to be removed. We Afghans always joke about Iranian ta’arof that how they waste time, instead of displaying their friendship and kindness they exaggerate to a point that ultimately is annoying.

Last week, after I read the Bellaigue’s piece on Iranian ta’arof I forwarded it to one of my friends at school. Since last year, she has tirelessly been working on her Farsi to travel to Iran with her Iranian friend but just recently her Iranian friends uninvited her. She wrote me back and said:

This article is a perfect explanation of how my friends first invited me to go to Iran next summer and then uninvited me. I thought my friends had been in this country enough decades to avoid this kind of thing but I was wrong. I just experienced ta’rof big time.

As Bellaigue says in his article that ta’arof is tricky and confusing. I am not in a position to judge whether Iranian should do their ta’arof outside Iran or not but it is certainly annoying and obnoxious to non-Iranians. Of course, most of Iranians are proud of ta’arof in their social interactions while there are many Iranians who abhor ta’arof. But ta’arof is still part of Iranian culture and identity. That’s how Iranian culture is distinct from cultures of other Farsi spoken countries like Afghanistan and Tajikistan. In these two countries where historically Farsi has deeper roots than Iran, ta’arof has no place in their cultures.

The purpose of writing this short piece is not to criticize Iranians because of their confusing traditional social behavior but to raise this question: to what extent do we know others and how can we avoid being ta’arofed by Iranian friends? Also should we expect them to be aware of our cultures and assimilate into an alien culture or should we learn their cultures accept them as they are?
The answers to these questions depend on individuals, time and location.