Dec 30, 2010

Choking Feeling

It was last year at this time of the year; I was torn apart with the grief and sorrow at my mom’s death. I was at school when I heard she passed away. That night, I was left in shock and couldn't recover for a long time. The grief was heavy on my shoulders as I was away from home. 

It was fall semester and I experienced a grievous loss. I didn’t tell anyone why I was sad and instead I isolated myself in my room and rarely walked out to the café and gym. I came to Philadelphia to spend my winter break with my host family and friends. My host family celebrated my birthday, and it was the first time in my life. When I was in Afghanistan, I used to consider it unimportant and no one really cared about it. 

That night, at dinner table, my hostess told me that when I get back home I should thank my mom for bringing me into this world. A sudden sharp grief chocked in my throat shortly, I resisted and I embraced her suggestion and said to her: “I will, I will.” No one realized the quiver in my voice. 

For several months, I have been having choked up feeling, it was not until recently when talked to my friends about my loss and I wrote a eulogy to my mother’s death